Why Comparison Is Detrimental & Why One Should Not Compare

‘Look at how much Mr Sharma’s son scored!’ Many of us have grown up hearing similar comments from our elders or parents. Many of us, from an early age, have been conditioned to compare ourselves and our experiences against those of others. From comparing marks to how many friends we have, the need for comparison is entrenched in our society. Why is comparison detrimental? The problem of comparison arises when instead of focusing on the child’s individual growth and progress we compare them to their siblings or other children and judge them for being different. Many parents are guilty of falling into the comparison trap. Another problem of comparison is there is an end number of criteria we can compare ourselves with and an end number of people we can compare ourselves to. This is a vicious cycle and with the rise in social media, it becomes more common.  By comparing your child to their siblings or other children, we run the risk of losing sight of what makes our child special and unique. All children are special in their own way. We all have abilities, interests and skills that make us who we are. When parents constantly compare children with others it increases the child’s stress levels, makes them anxious and lowers their self-esteem. They will feel like everyone is better than them at everything and they won’t be good at anything. However not all comparison is bad, some ways you can better your child without comparing are:   

1.Understand that every child is unique: Parents need to realize that every child is different and each child has their own interests. A child can work and achieve success in an area they are not interested in but will remain unfulfilled with the work they are doing. The best higher secondary schools in Goa understand this and make sure every child is treated specially.

2.Support their endeavours: The biggest way that a parent can positively influence their child is by being  supportive. If the child knows that they have a good support system then they are more likely to take on  challenges and ultimately become better versions of themselves.

3. Set realistic goals and expectations: Aiming very high is not always the best course of action. Parents  should set realistic goals for their children according to their abilities and resources. 4. Positive reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is one of the best ways parents can improve their child’s  confidence and overall development. This is one of the easiest and quickest ways to help your child grow. Whenever  your child achieves a milestone or goal try to reward them, they will feel good and will want to achieve more. The best CBSE Schools in Goa use positive reinforcement frequently to make students more confident.

5.Improve weaknesses: When you compare the child feels it’s useless to improve because there will be someone better. Sitting down with the child and helping them overcome their weakness can be achieved with unconditional  support and motivation.

6.Set Benchmarks: Benchmarking is a great way to better ourselves and positively influence your child’s life. Benchmarks are a great way to keep track of children’s progress. Benchmarks are beneficial as they allow us to determine personal milestones and enable us to keep track of our physical, mental and emotional development.

At Sunshine Worldwide School we celebrate each learners uniqueness through the concept of “My Goal”. This concept is applied for various aspects of the learner like for academic and non-academic, personal inquiries , independent inquiries and when participating in the community. The stronger this sense of self-efficacy in students, the greater the likelihood that they will exercise agency. Self-efficacy influences the choices students are confident in making, which, in turn, influences the degree of ownership and impact they have in their lives.

When learner agency is established students become partners in the learning process. In this partnership, teachers work alongside students, meet with small groups and individuals as needed, and monitor learning and provide feedback. This enables them to focus on themselves for growth. Sunshine Worldwide school being an IB School in Goa uses modern teaching pedagogy to make students the best versions of themselves. We do away with traditional methods of ranking by marks and instead focus on the individual progress and development of the student. Our commitment to constantly updating our teaching methodologies and curriculum to suit the changing dynamics of the modern world is why our students develop into holistic individuals.